I have a crush on you.
Not the type that only lasts a few seconds or the ones that come like a rush of fading adrenaline energy. No, It’s the hugest, longest, and cheesiest I’ve had in a while, and in all honesty, there’s a little bit of shy shame coursing through my entire body as I admit this. You have somehow sneaked beneath my every wall and broken down every guard that stood in place guarding my heart – You have rendered me defenseless.
I should be upset but I’m not, what is wrong with me?
I remember the first time I saw you. I remember my 13 year old self thinking “how could one person be this amazing?” You barely noticed me that day as you played with our mutual friend. I didn’t mind. I was perfectly okay with just staring at you from a distance.
You’re absolutely gorgeous.
12 years later and I’m still crushing hard. This is not to say that that I’ve liked only you in all this time. There has been Linda, Chioma, Amaka, and Farida but I see you and my whole heart reminds me that it’s you that it wants, no other comes close.
There is something about your gait that makes watching you the most interesting thing in the whole wide world.
You were my first crush, in my first years of puberty when I had no idea of what life was and I haven’t crushed this hard since then. You have come and wrecked me completely
I remember stalking you.
I spent 4 hours going through your social media pages and you would not believe it but I was having the time of my life. I saw all 200 of your Instagram posts. Down to the very first one.
You’re so beautiful.
There’s not a part of you that is not beautiful and as I say this I know that social media is deceptive and you only post the great pictures but you do not have one bad picture, how is that even possible?
How is it possible that your every picture leaves me in breathtaking wonder of the beauty that you are? You’re flawless.
I have loved one girl for the better part of my life. You, Ronke, you are that girl and no other comes close for me no matter how hard I try and trust me, I have tried.
God must have had a field day when he made you and although your beauty is the type that will keep astrologers in awe for days wondering how you manage to outshine the stars, it’s not just your beautiful face that really gets me. There is something about you that I can’t explain but it somehow manages to turn me upside down every time I as much as think about you. You’re super special.
It is said that after making champagne the man exclaimed “Come quickly, I’m tasting the stars”
That’s exactly how I feel when I see you. I want to scream at the top of my lungs “Come quickly, I’m seeing a star”
You are a glimpse of heaven.
One day, I will finally find the courage to tell you to your face Ronke, that I want you to be my forever.
I want to wake up next to you and marvel at how the sunshine pales in comparison to your beauty, about how your laughter sends my heart into a frenzy, about how your smile hits me in my chest every time.
I hope that one day, I finally find the courage to tell you about how I think, no sorry, I know, that I’m in love with you.
Always have, always will be.
On that day, I will ignore my beating heart and quivering hands.
I will walk up to you, look you in the eyes and tell you to your beautiful face.
“I am in love with you”
But till then,
I will watch you blossom from afar.
Thanking God every day for the wonder that you are.
Wishing, praying, hoping against hope till courage comes.