TIME WILL NOT HEAL ALL WOUNDS
I’ve fractured and sprained my ankle a number of times and it’s always that same ankle – The right one. If I speak about each time I hurt my ankle, I could curate content for at least 6 different blog posts but I wouldn’t put you through that today.
The first time I fractured my ankle, I wasn’t wearing my glasses and so I slipped and fell on wet tiles and my ankle hit the edge of the pavement and crack, It had been fractured. I would never forget the pain that shot through my entire being in that moment. It was like I was being beaten by ten hefty men all at the same time while five tiny children were poking needles in different parts of my leg. The pain was a lot.
Luckily my friends took me to the school clinic and I remember very vividly the head nurse then looking at my leg and shaking her head.
“We have to press this leg. If not it would be worse by morning”
I wanted to run away. (Not that I had the legs to do so but yes, I was terrified)
And so my friends held me down as she pressed my already hurting leg with Hot heat lotion. I cried so much that I thought I would run out of water in my eyes. She pressed it with balm in her palms and then bandaged it. (I eventually got a cast on and all that funny stuff but that’s not the point of this post)
This is how healing works.
When you get hurt, you don’t abandon the place and hope to heal. If it’s a wound, you treat it with spirit and disinfect it. If it’s a sprain or fracture, you massage the affected area.
It works this way emotionally as well.
To heal, you don’t ignore the pain and hope that it goes away. All that happens is it swells and gets worse. In the event that it does heal, it doesn’t heal properly and so what happens is that place becomes tender (aka a trigger) and so any small impact on that place would make it hurt more than it should because the place isn’t fully healed.
So when your heart hurts, when things happen to you that make you bleed inside, don’t ignore it. Explore it. It would hurt like hell and you would cry and feel like you might die but you won’t.
Healing is not pretty. It’s intense and gory and painful.
I promised to share my healing journey with you guys and I’ll try to tell it in bits but this is the first step.
That pain, you need to feel it but don’t let it swallow you whole. Grit your teeth if you have to, face your fears, have/get friends that would hold you down as those areas are being massaged.
When I asked God to heal my heart, it felt like it got worse. He made me address things I would have rather left alone. I felt raw and sore and stupidly vulnerable. I cried and cried and got mad and embarrassed but you see the beautiful thing? Like that nurse that wrapped up my ankle, he would put a balm on those hurting places and wrap you up in his love.
You won’t feel relief instantly. Nothing about healing is instant. You might have to walk with a limp for a while. You might even need crutches.
But this does not mean that you’re not healing. You are. Own it. Embrace the process.
Because when that bandage comes off, your healing would be whole.
This is what real healing looks like. This is the only time, you can truly say that Time heals all wounds. Only after all has been done and said.
Don’t pretend to be fine. Be honest with yourself. Let yourself feel these things.
Till all of you is whole.